Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
