I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
