my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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