apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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