Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
