We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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