I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
