So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
