Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My vagina just clenched in fear
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
