Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
