I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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