Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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