I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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