just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
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The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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