And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
