Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize