He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
