I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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