It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
