Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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