just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
