I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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