the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
