why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
