The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
