i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
