Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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