i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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