wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
