Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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