Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
