these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
