He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
