Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize