Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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