he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
