Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
