whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
