You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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