But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
