why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
