operation have a gay friend backfired
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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