and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
