If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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