Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm sobbing to NWA
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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