I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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