BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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