everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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