is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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