I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
