if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
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There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
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I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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