drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
