i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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