I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize