Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
