so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
