apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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