I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
