Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
