I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I had your ass I would rule the world
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
