That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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