Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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