I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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