I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
