he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
the liver wants what the liver wants
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
