I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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