I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Enjoy the penises
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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