My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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